Helping others by understanding their story

Part of assisting those struggling with mental health and/or addiction, is understanding their life and story.

When we understand a person's story, we get a better understanding of why and how they make the choices they do, and think the way they think.

Whether it's stemming from negative schemas and core beliefs that come from childhood abuse and trauma, symptoms of an underlaying mental health diagnosis that's not treated or undertreated, or a learned behaviour they've been conditioned to do or not do.

We can have greater success when we use compassion and understanding with the individuals we see. By understanding others and not judging or trying to consequence them into changing, we can allow for the opportunity for them to also understand their story and connection to their current situation. If the goal through counselling is self development and change, the idea and promotion of self awareness should come first.

For counsellors, you must understand, your client will only go as far as you allow them through your own understanding and emotional intelligence. When we look at what is meant by E.I, this is the ability to manage both your own emotions and understand the emotions of people around you. The 5 parts that make up EI are: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills.

By understanding the story of others and having a strong understanding of your own story and your E.I level, you can assist your clients in understanding and building theirs.

“First off, don’t let the force of the impression carry you away. Say to it, ‘hold up a bit and let me see who you are and where you are from—let me put you to the test’ . . .” — Epictetus, Discourses, 2.18.24

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