Boundaries For a Healthy recovery.

In life, but especially recovery, we need to sit back and take an inventory of the people around us. In order to be healthy, we need to have healthy people around us. This isn't to judge others or try and isolate them, it's to ensure that we aren't taking on more issues than we need ourselves, especially when we are at a turning point and trying to grow. And this doesn't mean that we need to cut off everyone we know who may be having issues. It means we need to see what and who may impede on our growth.

Sometimes we may have people around us who don't like that we are progressing. This may be because they benefit from us being unwell, and while it may not even be conscious to that person, sometimes it is. Some individuals may have co-dependency issues and like when we are not well because it allows them to be in a caretaker role. Others may use our illness or misfortunes as a way to feel better about themselves and the issues they have. Some people unfortunately enjoy seeing other people having misfortunes for no reason but their own entertainment.

There are also people who are your friends and do care, but they are also using or partaking in activities you are trying to recover from and now see your recovery as something taking you away from them. Other times, friends and family may be going through issues and don't have the coping skills or self awareness to see how their actions or inactions may create issues for your recovery.

These people may not be trying to be malicious, and it may just be their coping if they start to lash out or treat you differently. You do however need to decide whether this is a potential road block or could initiate a possible relapse. It all comes down to deciding if there is room for them in your life at this moment, and maybe only with set boundaries.

In any event, the healthier and more supportive the people are around you, the more likely your recovery efforts will be smooth and long lasting.

As Epictetus says “The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.”