Why isn’t “Just stopping” enough in recovery?
People often ask why counselling is beneficial to those who are looking to start recovery or have already taken the first step. They ask why "just stopping" isn't effective enough. Why can't my loved one just quit and be healthy? Why do I need to see a counsellor if I feel I can just stop drinking?
While "just stopping" and no longer using drugs, alcohol, or behavioural addictions, seems like what recovery is all about, that's just scratching the surface. No longer using is both the short and long-term goal, but to get to the long-term goal of lasting sobriety, we often have to explore many other areas and do other work to stay on track to not returning to using. During addiction recovery (or many other behavioural change/modification processes) we recognize relapse is a possible occurrence. We’ve learned a behaviour that may have gotten us through rough periods in life, and even though it may have also caused us problems in various areas of our lives, it has become imprinted into us. Just like we know to eat when we feel hungry, we have also learned to use when we feel stress or discomfort or a variety of other reasons.
To learn how to be sober means to UNLEARN using. Relapse often occurs after a series of events or stressors begin to create a sense of discomfort in the individual in recovery. There are signs and events that usually precede relapse, and if the individual and/or their support network understand and see these signs and have a "plan" and tools to deal with them, their chance to mitigate relapse is heightened. The first stage of relapse is usually referred to as EMOTIONAL RELAPSE. It is at this time that old maladaptive thoughts and moods start to reoccur. Individuals may begin experiencing depression, mood swings, anxiety, and other red flags. Their sleeping may become disturbed, they may begin isolating themselves from others and not attending meetings or appointments, and they may begin ignoring their recovery plan and ignoring others' offers to help.
To see how this looks, let's use smoking for example because cigarettes are one of the most commonly used drugs in our society which people attempt to quit daily.
Many people who smoke have placed an attachment to their cigarettes. By this, I mean that they have placed an emotional or other personal connection to them. They identify that cigarettes help them during stressful times. So aside from the difficulty they may experience quitting due to the physiological addiction cigarettes cause, they now also have the mental aspect of the addiction to work through. When experiencing stress, anxiety, or even positive emotions, an individual may be conditioned to reach for a cigarette. They know this cigarette is going to relax them. Indeed they do. The chemicals in cigarettes affect your body in such a way that within seconds of inhaling nicotine, dopamine is released and causes a sense of relaxation. The double edged sword, however, is that once the levels of nicotine in your body start to disappear, you begin to have withdrawal symptoms which now may be more problematic than the original stress or anxiety you were having which led to the urge to smoke. This is the case with most substances and alcohol after physical dependence has been established. Often, the original issue may not even be resolved, and now you are left with an ongoing concern or worry regarding issue X, plus you have nicotine (or alcohol or drug) withdrawal symptoms which can cause symptoms such as anxiety and anger, illness, and so forth. By working with a counsellor, you can start learning new ways to deal with life and how to implement healthy coping mechanisms and replace addictive behaviours and substances with healthy outlets and positive coping skills. You can also learn about cross- addiction and learn to look for signs you may be replacing your primary addiction with another during your recovery process.
When a person has not explored new coping mechanisms, discovered how to practice self-awareness, or changed their environment or things which may be creating the desire to use drugs and alcohol to escape or "deal with" people and situations, they can easily fall back into addiction via relapse. Learning about “lapses” and relapses, and having relapse prevention plans will help individuals and their families feel empowered and motivated in the recovery process.
So, why isn’t “just quitting” enough? Participating in addiction counselling helps individuals and their families learn about addiction and gives them the tools to start recovery and relapse prevention planning. By exploring what creates the urge to use and learning the skills to help them with these day-to-day issues, individuals can reduce their risk of relapse and start living happier, healthier lives. Working with a counsellor and discussing maladaptive coping skills, faulty thinking patterns, undiagnosed or untreated mental health concerns, past or ongoing trauma, and other things in life that have and may continue attributing to the addiction can help an individual ensure their road to recovery includes education, skills, and plans and goals to name a few.
A trained and certified addiction counsellor will have the skills and background to help clients work towards challenging their urge to use and identify the thoughts and feelings that cause these, as well as teaching the skills and tools to promote lasting success in recovery.
